I think we're both doing a lot of mind reading here.... H called to thank me for helping him with the sink last night I said you did most of the work.
We talked about surprise b-day party for BIL tomorrow night, H wanted to take S with him. I said won't people ask where I am and what are you going to tell them? He said what do you want me to tell them. I said I don't know he then asked if I wanted to go. I said yes, but you'll be there, too and he said "not with me" so I didn't understand what he meant. So I said drive up and then drive back. H then said, well before I left you somebody, meaning me, said they didn't like to stay over night there and couldn't sleep, I said things change and besides one night isn't going to kill me. It's a smokey bar so H really doesn't want to take S anyway and I did have plans to go to my friends to watch football anyway.
He then said are you happy with your life? I said yes I am. He said are you happy that I'm gone? I said not particularly. He knows I miss him and still care about him. He then mentioned three things I was doing in the next few weeks and I said you don't want to do things with me so I'm going to do them anyway. He just said yeppp, and then said he had to go. We hung on for a little while and I then said I'll talk to you later and we both hung up.
Why won't he say whats on his mind! Why won't he just tell me he sees I'm different! Why, why, why!! I am soo sick of this whole thing. Why can't I just come out and say come back home, I haven't in awhile, but he knows that's what I want. Why do I have to keep telling him over and over. Why can't he have the guts to come out and say he made a mistake and he wants to move back home rather than all these mind games.
Arghhh!!!!!
Why does when he say "when I left you" making it sound like it's all my fault...it hurts to hear this even after six months.
Why does he do this to me, he's hurting me on purpose, I hate the way he makes me feel.
I said you did most of the work. 
