On being the best O'Dog I can be

[orangedog]

My first thread "Stay or Move" locked up.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1773445&page=0&fpart=1

Starting thread #2 with my mantra "Being the best me I can be. The rest is up to her."

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We didn't have much contact yesterday. I went for great trail run yesterday (including a forced detour because of a lounging moose that refused to move off the trail). She spent a bunch of time on fb. I'm feeling down today maybe because I've realized just a few more days left. I know...I know it's going to be fun but right now I'm feeling too attached at the moment. (Is this a backslide?)

We had a few words this morning. She left some food out and I automatically put it back in the fridge.

"Cleaning up after me?" (referring to our inside joke about how she gets the food out and I put it away). "I know. It's going to get worse." She commented about BFF's over-the-top organization, and how she gave her stern words for leaving a pair of socks on the floor.

I shook my head and said, "Ya think? Religious-friend told me he thought she was kind of a control freak and that was five minutes after he met her."

She laughed, "Yeah, it's gonna be..uh..interesting."

Seriously the housekeeping think drove me crazy during our marriage. She was so messy. And it left me overwhelmed. Last few months I just backed off and let some of the messes sit. I focused more on paperwork and worked through bills; an area I had been lacking in. As I've said earlier, I felt better when I wasn't compelled to do this stuff but when I did my share willingly.

She knows exactly what I was thinking, 'Girl, you got yourself into this one.'


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I checked my bank account balance this morning and fell out of my chair. Why was there over $10k in there!! I found a deposit for almost $9k so I got on the phone and asked her what it was for. She was making a large transfer for BFF to her stbx. BFF was in a hurry and couldn't make it the bank..blah..blah. Ok whatever - I had a meeting. I wrote a quick terse email saying NEVER do that again. BFF has impending bankruptcy and divorce and making a large transfer is totally red-flags. You know better than that. I don't want our finances mixing with anyone else's ever. I expected a nasty-gram back (her usual MO) but instead got a "I'm sorry" and a frowny-face.