Magnificent

[mishka422]

I have one more question...you two had a conversation the other day..maybe by text or on the phone, I can't remember...but why would he call you.."baby"? Why would you call an ex wife..."baby"???

I took it as a figure of speech, nothing more. He's never called me 'baby' ever. He's not a sweet talker. His nickname for me used to be 'pood' (as in pudding) so it definitely wasn't that. EEEEEWWWWW...sick thought. I wonder if he calls the broom baby.....YUCK! GROSS!

I know there is no reconciliation coming. I don't want that and I'm sure he doesn't either. It just frustrates me to think that he is still with her and yet he isn't living there anymore. Why? Why? Why? Why? Ok, answers I'll never get..I know. Let it go. Let him keep sponging and give up on getting him out.

You all know what happened to the last deadline he had (and it was even in legal documents) - he didn't get a job, didn't start paying child support, and now pays absolutely nothing. NOTHING! I told him it was until he finds something else. Last night I heard him say to Marc, "When I move out I hope you at least keep your room cleaned up." He has no illusions either. He said it out loud to his son not even knowing I was able to hear him so it wasn't for my benefit.

Favorite color? Places I want to go and see? I have a laundry list of them, but when I have committed them to paper in the past they made me so sad because I knew I would never get to do those things or see those places. I'm afraid to do it again.

ahhh..you know better..I can't even address that..as I say occasionally..."save the drama for your momma"

Now Mike, you know I'm not being dramatic. I HATE drama! I'm being honest though. Even though I work very hard at it, I still feel deep inside myself that I am worthless and have no right to be sad about what I've lost because I never should have had it to begin with. It's not pretty, but it is what it is.

I'm going to 'fake it' for now. Ignore the fact that I know I'm being played just so he can have what he wants without any responsibilities. I know that in the long run he will be miserable anyway because that is just the way he is. I know he's a liar, a cheater, and a miserable individual. There are very few things I don't KNOW about him, but the battle is not letting his actions hurt me emotionally.

He's definitely an abuser. I really do hope that they have a long life of making each other miserable.