Another newcomer - already finding help

[JKL2009]

How sure are you of when her affair started?

I only ask this because "He/she had NOTHING to do with me wanting to get a divorce!" is standard gaslighting affair script. In almost every (not all) situation that I'm aware of, the betrayed spouse ends up finding out that at LEAST the beginnings of an inappropriate emotional attachment to the OM/OW started BEFORE the deep dissatisfaction of the marriage.

Puppy

I am 100% sure on this. Deep dissatisfaction of the marriage occurred before she ever meet OM.