Hi there Cathy, Been a little while, but I noticed you have more at ease this week.
Quote: I pull back and he pulls back. We were getting close and then I pull back and he pulls back...maybe I'll try this again for another week and see where it goes.
If this turns out to be the pattern you are in, than applying "conventional" DBing of backing off may not work so well. Instead of backing off, you may need to gently tap him on the shoulder sorta speak to let him know you're intrested, but let him decide to take you up on it or not and graciously accept his decision which ever he chooses.
He seems to be showing a lot of interest in how you spend your day. When he ask about what you are gonna to be doing, try asking if he would like to join you, even if you are not doing anything special. Let him feel he is welcome and its his choice.
That said tho, I'm concerned about being around when he is in one of his temperamental moods and calling you names. When he is acting that way, I do believe you should pull away fast. You don't want your presense to be interpreted as condoning such treatment.
If the direction you choose to take is as you mentioned in yesterday's post:
Quote: I just want to be pleasant and happy around him. I want to quit pursuing him, I was the pursuer when we first met. I wouldn't let up on him and now I want him to be the pursuer, I want him to make the decision on what he's going to do.
Today's post:
Quote: so I left a voicemail for H yesterday asking him if was going to pick up son and to please let me know
Cathy, I've notice in the last few weeks the pattern of not hearing from H, so you call to see if he is going to pick up sone. I interpret this reaction a form of pursuit. If H want to see son, he should contact you. If you don't hear from him, go ahead and set up your own agenda with son. Your H should respect that if he is not going to remain in routine contact about son, that you & son are not gonna sit around waiting for him, but will move on without him.
So you like fishing? It looks like you might have to cast around in a couple different directions and a few different kind of lures to find what will work to draw you closer and that is pretty much is gonna needs some experimenting to figure out.
... but don't get discourage ... experimenting can be fun too.
