Back again for some sage advice!

[limbo]

Hello All,

I have not posted in a very long time; I hope that you are all well!

Quick up date, H and I are still plodding along, and as far as I know the ow has not been in contact.
We had our 19th wedding anniversary yesterday, very low key, by our choice; have to do a bathroom reno, so money is tight!

We have had no major problems as of late, which of course is good, however I feel we have fallen back into the “old ways”, we do nothing, go no where.
My H is so focused on our family vacation to Florida that nothing else is important.
To be honest I am terrified to go, the first time we went, he shortly after began the affair, and the second time the day after we returned he announced that he was leaving as he was back with the ow. I told him a long time ago that I was not happy with going, however it just didn’t seem to matter he was gung ho to go.

I still at times have moments of unhappiness, and to be honest I have them fairly often, I don’t really feel connected to my h, and I feel that there is something huge that it missing.
My h just seems to have forgotten everything and is carrying on as normal, we don’t talk about us at all anymore, we don’t dialogue. I feel that was our connection, but now nothing.
He is loving and a great husband around the house, he does so much, way more then me, I can’t fault him at all in that regard.
I don’t think in my H mind there is anything wrong, we are great.

I just don’t know what to do, I want to feel connected, and I want to feel that I love him deeply; I don’t know what to do to get that back and feel those things again for him.
I do love him don’t get me wrong, but I just feel that there is something so large that is missing.

Thanks!