I think Coach has some excellent advice. A lot of women also recommend reading Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. I think you are so much like me (and probably most guys) in terms of it being a black and white world, and women probably just don't see it that way. I hate to sound trite, but remember 1 Cor. 13:4; try to put those things into practice regardless of what your W is doing. Be patient with her, be kind, be trusting, don't always assume the worst, try to see her needs and feelings. I don't know, to me it sounds like you both really do want your M to work, but there's just so much pressure that it's becoming more of a chore than anything else. Try to lighten the situation up a bit. In my sit, I began to see that my W and I just needed to have more light, fun times together. We've been having regular date nights and just generally hanging out with eachother in an enjoyable manner. One thing I've had to learn and remember is that I too am a very flawed sinner, and even through my sin Christ persued me and loved me and waited patiently on me. Your W needs to see that you love her no matter what, that you will be patient with her, and that you will be there to take her back. This is hard stuff, but it's what we're called to do. How is she doing spiritually? I've asked that before--has she improved in that area? Does she read her Bible on a daily basis? That's so important. In fact, that's been the single most important thing in our reconciliation. We read together every single day (I being very careful to trust God and let His word do a work in my W's heart, not me pounding scripture into her head), and you know what, I've seen a definite change in my W. She actually looks back at our separation with deep regret and sorrow. She says she was so blind, and that she can't believe how much control over her life she'd given to satan. I always beleive that our relationship with the Lord is at the root of all our problems. I think you see this, but your W needs to as well. Can you begin a daily reading plan with her? We started reading the New Testament through, and now we're almost done. God's word is powerful and convicting. Hopefully she (and you) will begin to see very clearly that divorce and all this pain and brokeness is not his plan for your life. I'm sorry if I can't be more helpful.
