Thank you Cat03. Your right there is no hurry for him to leave after dropping the bomb. He is basically just content to stay because the leaving part will be very difficult. He will have to tell his family and he thinks they will disown him and judge him to be crazy. Everyone we know will think he has lost his marbles to leave me and so he tells me over and over again that everyone will just judge him and that nobody cares or wants him to be happy.
I will do my best to focus on myself. We both work and live together and he still tells me I am his best friend and know him better than anyone else. I did not talk R for a week but last night could not stand it any longer. I asked him if it felt weird that he told me he no longer wants to be married and than continues to stay, he told me surprisingly no it did not feel all that weird to him, and I replied well it does to me. Just ignored, no doubt he feels what else do I have anyway. I also asked him if he would consider one last shot on the M while he is still living here. I reassured him the DB counselors were nonjudgmental and not interested in rehashing our whole life; but, he is not inclined. His reply, I know, I know it is my fault because I have not tried everything to save this marriage. I told him that was fine I was going to seek counseling for myself and that I understood he had no interest in our M. He said I did not have to give up hope...I want him to leave so bad. I am not going to leave and I am not going to file - I've always done everything for him and no doubt he expects me to do this also than he can say I left him.
How did you keep it together for so long, did you use the time to work solely on yourself or did you feel the longer he stayed the more hope for your marriage.
Thanks for listening, Michele M 42 H 41 No kids M 16 yrs. Together 22 years Hope fading...
