If I smother her with words or even Acts of Service, she will see it as "pressure" and "expectations," and if I DON'T, she will see me as pulling away and not loving her.
Ask her, "How can I help?" The do it lovingly.
One piece of advice I got here regarding the differences between men and women regarding help was this. If a woman is busy in the kitchen other women will jump up and help - friendly gesture, social, and appreciated. Man is out cooking on the grill and another man jumps in and starts helping it is a problem. Guy rules - implies he doesn't know how to grill, incompetent and you are in his space. Men and women each understand their own unwritten rules. Place a man and women together as partners and see how the unwritten rules booger things up. Reading when to jump into that space is a tough one for guys. You strike me as a black and white kinda guy. Your M will thrive when you explore the space between those colors. It's not gray either - it's tomato red, sunrise orange, mint green, hi-liter yellow, pansy purple, top of the mountain sky blue, and diamond clear.
It will be your actions that show her your love. Don't try to fix everything. No smothering, pressure or expectations let her see the space and make a move. Standing by and just being is also a action. Have some faith in just being there. Be available, patient and lovingly consistent in your actions. If you only knew how much you sound like me. Listen to what the women are counseling you to do. I know you can handle it. Cheers Coach
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
