WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 9

[antlers]

You simply need to no longer initiate conversation with her unless she initiates it with you, no matter how you feel and want to. Leave her alone.

So how would you handle yesterday's scenario, where she called but didn't leave a message? I didn't call her back, nor did I respond to her email from earlier in the day (just a FYI on a news article about her Dad getting let go from his job). I had thought about sending an email back about like "That's really too bad", but we had talked about that already on Friday last week.

So do you think I should have called her back even though she didn't leave a message (I got a missed call message on my cell)?

This morning she sent me a text saying that she had set up the end of semester conference with my 3 year old's teacher. I did reply by saying "Thanks for setting that up".

This Dark/Dim is a tough line. I think I was overly (if it's possible) Dark yesterday, vs. Dim.

I've been staying the course of not initiating contact each day and I do not call her unless I'm returning her call/email.

I am very concerned this is making this worse, as Sandi has pointed out, she may not be like the typical WAW. As her principle issue had been that I neglected her by not paying attention to her, isn't Dark/Dim reinforcing that? My wife has told me a couple of weeks ago, that I should treat her the way I want to treat her. And said specifically that if I wanted to call her, I should just call her. She said I should just be myself. I'm not sure if most WAW's would say that. Not sure if what's going on here is confusing her as well as she's trying to figure me out.

ARGH!!!!!!! This is hard, but then again, if it was easy, the divorce rate wouldn't be what it is in this country.....

You want her to miss you! I know that it's hard...because it feels like it's the opposite of what you should be doing! It's not.