Quote:

Exposure to what we fear is the #1 ingredient in treating phobias of all kinds.



Shiny....so true, so true. I remember fearing that my H would leave me and then wanting him to leave and then him leaving and the awfulness of it all. But, I think I'm better for all that I've been through, not that I would wish it anyone else.

I feel the way I did before I met H, lighthearted, happier, there's more control in my life, I can plan things, etc. I do find myself missing things I did with H though, like going to movies, going to football games and watching football games on TV, hunting and fishing together, the way he can make me laugh. I do like having the bed to myself now. I've been sleeping on his side of the bed since he left, I just can't sleep on "my side" anymore.

We're basically at a standstill right now in our situation and I'm wondering if that's okay. I haven't been obsessing about OW lately, I'm not so concerned with H either, it doesn't bother me that he doesn't call me everyday which he hasn't been doing lately. I want to give him his space, want to quit enabling his r with OW, i.e., waking him if he falls asleep, etc. I just want to be pleasant and happy around him. I want to quit pursuing him, I was the pursuer when we first met. I wouldn't let up on him and now I want him to be the pursuer, I want him to make the decision on what he's going to do. I did mention on my thread at some point that we got married because I was pregnant which has always kind of bothered me. Would H have asked me to marry him otherwise? We had been seeing each for five years and living together for at least four of those years. And, he would always say he didn't want to get married again, but he did ask me.

I have the day off today and want to do some yardwork before H gets here later.

oh, yeah I forgot to mention he called me a moron the other night, can't remember why, but I said "I am not a moron" he's such a child sometimes, GROW UP!!!

Cathy