I would only recommend exposure to a close-knit circle of people that you are CONFIDENT would be supportive of your marriage:
- OM's wife or g.f. - your wife's parents - your wife's siblings - your own parents - your own siblings - wife's best friend, if she has a very close one, and if you are CERTAIN she would be supportive. I say this again because nearly all affairs have an "enabling best friend" at the center of them! - wife's/OM's employer, if the relationship is taking place at work or if they are co-workers and ESPECIALLY if there is a supervisor/employee relationship - your adult children, if any
To expose to a wider circle is not advisable. They will not have the influence over her anyway, and there will be more damage to try and repair later on if you reconcile.
Do your exposure all SIMULTANEOUSLY -- not sequentially.
