FIB, It seems like only the judge's gravel can get her to do anything if at all. And so you need to still retain the L because you are going to need that as a fallback. Her behavior will not end anytime soon.
However, meanwhile would it be worth trying some professional mediation (by someone who's also a lawyer) and getting to a written agreement signed by her as far as time/activities with the kid, finances and any other matter you think is festering, while she is still living in the same house? This could be impractical, but just a thought vs. living in hell like this.
