It's not about pretending. You have ask where the value-added is. So you "expose" something to others. You're the Left-Behind. What's the probability that Others will believe you? "Oh, well, he would say that, wouldn't he?" And you're not pretending you don't know that she's aware of your snooping -- you're just not raising the issue. Leave the ambiguity alone; it's your friend. Maybe WAW thinks she knows something. That's going to make her wonder what else you know.
And at the end of the day, it doesn't matter -- I know that's hard to deal with. My WAW had an EA, too; but that EA was, in many respects, independent of the D-bomb. She might have had it even had there been no divorce, and we'd just be in a good, old-fashioned infidelity situation.
You've got to spy out the secrets -- YOUR secrets. Because those are the ones that got you here. You need to to talk with @Forrest Gump, who can be incredibly irritating, but in a productive and ultimately good way. And that's a compliment.
