Setting boundaries - yesterday I told W that OM is no longer welcome in my home (used home, rather than house for a nice touch). That W should tell him that he should know this and should not plan on attending my Daughters open house this weekend.
Response that I was "way off on this John thing we are not having an affair just good friends".
I've responded with an offer to talk about this "john thing". Still waiting to hear back with her reply.
My thoughts to this "talk" include my issues with trusting her - that until I can trust her again, everything she tells me is essentially a lie. She needs to know that its not an acceptable relationship, regardless if she thinks it's an affair or not. She needs to prove to me its over. I can not take her word for it.
I want her to understand that until she understands what is causing her unhappiness, she can not address it. I don't to push counseling, but am thinking if I talk about understanding what is causing her unhappiness, she might realize that she needs to better understand the true causes behind it, rather than what she thinks are casuing it. I'm sure some of what she said when confronted about the A was just lashing out - she was caught, and she knew it.
I will not talk about us, our living arrangements. Only about my trust issues and her unhappiness. Until she is willing to openly and honestly adress thise issues, we can not talk about anything else.
