in the end you wont... I was the same. In the end you wont. believe me.
its not a better place to be, but it is a lot more peaceful. of course you dont operate like him, hes being a selfish AHOLE. they always are.
keep reminding youself you can totally love someone, absolutely love them... but come to terms with the fact they dont feel the same about you. the pain never goes away or ends, but it does become manageable. think of it like say... learning to deal with a permanently bad back. it CAN BE DONE.
naturually we'd never choose that sitch. but you have to at least see you can live, if it comes to that, and quite well. this WONT KILL YOU. it only feels like it will LOL. but it WONT. you are going to LIVE. and you have a long TIME to live btw so you might as well do stuff you dont mind doing and do some of that stuff you always put off, maybe a new cooking course, learn to cook asian get a wok, or maybe its to do pottery, so get some classes. maybe once when you were 20 you liked the idea of quilting, or nail art, but never followed thru.
DO IT
you probably think right now, that yea you can live single and do stuff like above but overall its gonna suck, and not be what yo REALLY want. this is true. but remember this: you FAKE it til you MAKE it. it takes time before you realise your no longer FAKING.
we become as obsessed with saving our M as our ex does with the OP. that realisation alone is power. we think we have nothing else in our life, nothing to live for, so we suck on that addiction. Its better than NOTHING.
it might (or might not!) help to think that, and think, do i EVER want to be addicted to H, as he is to OW??? do ya???? given what hes DONE?
you know logically right, hes gonna regret her later.... or at least his actions. so logically, you might regret this pain and obsession with H that he doesnt really deserve, later on...
knowledge doesnt bring relief to pain but can illuminate ENOUGH for us to at least relieve our situations... to see a glimmer of truth, of POTENTIAL truth. that can be enough to walk towards, even if its not our dream, bc we know our dream may never come true...
theres alternatives...
and they aint so horrid. ideal no.. but not horrid. they're worth living for. and being happy about, grateful about. pain cant last forever... yours wont mine wont. every second wespend even talking to one another, thats more pain gone from hour "hourglass of emotional pain". this IS NOT forever. NOTHING in life stays the same. THIS wont either... you can BANK your faith on THAT, unlike a cheating spouse!
you wont always feel this way, itll pass, YAY. thank god for that. as for them, they can deal with their own issues! WE wont have "regret" as one!
When you're down to nothing, God is up to something.
