While I sincerely apprecaite all that Puppy has done to help me through my sitch, I am grateful that you have been willing to open up and show us guys the other side as well. Just reading your thoughts, feelings and insight has been great.
My sitch is outlined under the thread "relapse - new affair". Puppy (and others) have been very helpful for the past week. (God, it's only been one week since I confronted W about the A).
As you can see from my last post, I'm wondering deeply about what to do next. I have some many conflicting emotions, but after relapsing myself over the weekend and "waffling" on what I need to do, I know I need to confront. But when?
I appreciate any help, suggestions, advice you can provide as I work through this.
I read a bit about your sitch. Im only going to tell you what I feel instinctively might get you some fast results to end this affair. remember tho if you take this advice to do it lovingly and firmly but in no way angrily or vindictively.
I think its time you sat your wife down, tell her how much you love and adore her and how much you want your M back AND how much you KNOW shes trying and struggling; but then comes the medicine...
Tell her you realise you cant fight cleanly or do this alone anymore; your FIGHTING FOR YOUR WHOLE LIFE HERE and your KIDS and your FAMILY, and you have decided that, if necessary, you will take it up a step, and enlist THE FAMILY to help you through this - by that you mean HERS and YOURS. shes gunna be horrified. be calm tell her this is not about "dobbing" on her but about YOU doing whatever it takes to bust this and get her focus back onto you and the M, if thats what she TRULY WANTS.
Then do it... frankly I think ALL AFFAIRS need to be dragged out INTO THE LIGHT. LET THE BE LIGHT! stop letting it be a dirty secret; how the heck do you think you are helping her by keeping a secret like that. Affairs are LIKE MUSHROOMS - the grow an thrive in THE DARK!!!!! let there be light.
If she hates the idea of justifying her behavior to her family then maybe she should be thinking about that... remind her of this: if you have to hide a relationship then you probably shouldnt be in it
When you're down to nothing, God is up to something.
