Can anyone answer this? Part 8

[Dawn of Hope]

I have occasionally been forced to interact with my H's former OW (the OW who preceded the one he's boinking now), whose mutual EA with him was 8 years ago (they are still on the same bowling team, can you believe it??? he flatly refused to cut ties with her!), and the best I can do is to grit my teeth and act civil to her. I feel a little sorry for her H, who is the same age as my H (she is 15 years younger), even though I don't respect him because he was still M to his first W (I think they were already separated) when he and OW started dating, right after she and my H "broke up." I don't think he knows about her R with my H, because he is very possessive of her but seems perfectly friendly to my H and apparently hasn't objected to them being on the same bowling team.

Ah, I see that I have seriously digressed...sorry about that. The point I was trying to make is that even though the R I was talking about (H and former OW) was (as far as I have been told, although I'm definitely not taking it as gospel) an EA and not a PA, I can barely stand to be in the same room with her. I cannot remotely imagine being friends with anyone who slept with my H while he was M to me; I don't care how nice she seems to be. I hope I won't step on too many toes by saying this, but nice people, decent people, people with integrity...don't participate in adultery, in my world. Maybe I'm naive, but I'm utterly convinced that those two things are _completely_ incompatible. And yes, that means my H is not a nice person; hopefully he will be different some day and will regain his integrity, which at the moment is completely shattered.

I agree, if you feel that you need to keep up a R with this former OW, you would be best served by some serious counseling. Maybe she has repented and wants to make amends, but I can't see anything good coming out of your having a R with her, and I see a LOT of potential for really ugly stuff. Do yourself a favor and replace her position in your life with a woman your H hasn't slept with...surely there must be a few of them.

I hope I haven't offended...I wish you only the best.

Peace,
Dawn