My shrink had me do a good exercise -- list out all the times you can remember, specific events, when you were happy. And the opposite. And review.
I have to say, I'm afraid that parsing through nearly 14 years is going to bring me down...so I'll tell you overall, we had some super fabulous times but the big elephants kept stomping in (his drive for attention vs. my drive for stability)...that's it in a nutshell. There is plenty to hold on to and hope for BUT, a good chance that the biggies will overshadow the simple sweetness that was often there. Both of us had/have major issues to deal with (him- compulsiveness, impulsiveness, narcissism and me- control, neuroticism, rage)...nice combo we were, right? Looking at my issues, I have wanted to refrain from raging in any of our communications because it hurts me to be that person.
