You know what is sick SP? You'd dig this guy. He's cultured and interesting and charming and funny...sarcastic to a degree that can be off-putting or intriguing depending on where it is aimed. You could probably go head to head on knowledge of literature...
I LOVE that about him. Think it is wonderful that he will impart that to our kids and I've told him that.
But, he is a walking/talking id right now.
Oh please, humor me, what I'd like to say to H-
1. H- weren't you the one who sent me this a while back (in an email where you were apologizing for being such a "bastard" the last time you left)?
It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. -Friedrich Nietzsche
So, my dear. If we figure out how to be "friends" and lord knows you do like to get down my pants and we have two beautiful kids together? What exactly precludes us from being married?
2. So in exchange for my support and endurance in being married to you, I get the booby prize of being "friends?"
3. Have you lost your muthacrackin' mind? All of your crap and bills and mess are sitting here. Bills and debt un-dealt with. Kids suffering from missing dad syndrome. And, you want me to assure you that at the end of this road, you will have my friendship?
4. Do you realize, that your kids see you in all of your "splendor?" That you not only dropped a bomb that you weren't going to live here anymore but subsequently ran off with rock star and jetting all over bragging to them about how amazing it is. "Hey kids, I'm not with you but I'm with some super fabulous famous people so it is all good." I wont have to tell them one negative thing about you because they're seeing it for themselves. You want them to covet the way you do? And sacrifice others for their own self-aggrandizement? Are those the values you want to impart?
5. Every man is guilty of all the good he didn't do. -Voltaire
I'm spinning again and I'll calm down. No, I can't believe this is the man I married. In the same conversation, he tells me he doesn't want to hurt me and then asks me basically if we can be friends. KNOWING, that my entire world has been turned upside down.
How about- "Sure, come home, tell me you love me, be here for your boys, agree to be home for dinner a couple of nights a week, help me implement a plan for our debt, give me a chance to be more playful and more sexual and more alive with you, keep your commitment to me and in turn, your children, and yes, I will be your friend."
Aaaarghhhh...midol moment.
I just have to avoid conversing with him!!! (Duh)
Likely I'm delusional. I've always been the more rational half of our couple. I think that cut loose from me, he'll go hog wild.
But, I can also see him regretting this and a few years down the line, mating with another woman and making up for it with a new family. I hate that sh*t. When you do things you know are f'ed up and damaging and then you just "oops, scratch that, I'm going to try again." I don't want my kids and I to be the rough draft.
But, I digress. No need for 2x4s. I know I'm off. I'm hurt. I feel f*cked with and rejected and he's got enough on me to tap into my guilt. Yep, I gave him ammo aplenty. What a set up.
Ok- I want to send this on a forward of an email he had sent apologizing for being such a bastard and leaving before and including the reference to Nietzsche...
Dear H,
I think you were right back then. I am learning to smile and enjoy life, even though my world turned upside down and I don't go out every night and I don't hang out with famous fabulous people, and I don't drink and I witness the effects of your absence on our children and their wondering where you will live and what will come of us as a family.
Thanks for the gifts you gave to me.
Per your reference to Nietzsche, if you have my friendship, and you have certainly been my lover as of recent and we have these beautiful children together, what would preclude us from being married? Other than your sheer desire for self-indulgence?
To quote the late, seldom lamented, Richard Milhous Nixon, "Let me say this about that."
Friedrich Nietzsche also observed (in Morgenroete or Daybreak) that the Man who runs away from his Woman is a big frickin' wussy sissy man.
To Nietzsche the modern institution of marriage had been fundamentally destroyed by late-19th-century notions of romantic love. As a result, it no longer reflected the Will to Power that differentiates Man from others in Nietzsche's philosophy. So marriage wasn't doomed by lack of friendship; it was doomed because it was no longer about the male's domination of the female:
Quote:
With the growing indulgence of love matches, the very foundation of marriage has been eliminated, that which alone makes an institution of it. Never, absolutely never, can an institution be founded on an idiosyncrasy; one cannot, as I have said, found marriage on "love" - it can be founded on the sex drive, on the property drive (wife and child as property), on the drive to dominate, which continually organizes for itself the smallest structure of domination, the family, and which needs children and heirs to hold fast - physiologically too - to an attained measure of power, influence, and wealth, in order to prepare for long-range tasks, for a solidarity of instinct between the centuries... Modern marriage has lost its meaning - consequently one abolishes it.
(Twilight of the Idols)
So if WAH -- charming and delightful ol' Uncle Shmedlap -- can't even handle his cojones in as trivialized and debased form of "marriage" as Nietzsche felt existed in the modern world, then he is no Man at all (at least not as Nietzsche understood the term).
So two snaps and a raise the roof to you, La Moja.
Tell WAH to get off the bloody WikiQuotes. It's irritating.
Ok, so I'm buckled over!!! He actually knows this sh*t, I'm the one googling. Aaargh, he's so cultured...I'm telling you. And he's arrogant and obnoxious and self-centered right now but he has a way with words...and classical music and poets and novels and films and and and...I better shut up or his head is going to explode.
alive: Take it from soon-to-be-divorced-dad-of-9-and-6-year-old. I'd be digging on a divorced-mom-of-9-year-old because she'd know where I was coming from. So you can lock that nonsense away.
As to charming and delightful ol' Uncle Shmedlap. You could write something like this:
Dear WAH: You asked me if I'd like to be friends. I presume you mean "friends with benefits" because I, La Moja, am MILFilicious like a mo-fo.
That's a very good question, and it deserves a very good answer, for two reasons. The first reason is that you are the father of our children, and it would do the children a world of good to have their father in their lives.
The second reason is that there are a lot of other fellas out there who might wonder whether or not I want to be "friends." Because I am La Moja, after all. Being a Hollywoodly fellow yourself, you'll certainly appreciate the awkward position I am in. Apparently, I am somewhat like General Jack D. Ripper -- these men sense my Essence. They sense my power, and they seek the Life Essence.
And frankly I'm stymied here, WAH, so I need your advice.
If you were me, would you be friends with the men who sense my power or with the man who has broken the hearts of those he is supposed to love, has abandoned his responsibilities to minor children, has abandoned his financial responsibilities, has crapped all over his marital vows, sends irritating letters with cherry-picked quotes from the Wikipedia, and who hasn't grown up enough yet to realize that the Hollywood Folk with whom he so desperately wishes to be associated will dump him as easily as they spit out yesterday's nicotine chewing gum -- or have you not noticed how quickly places on Sunset Boulevard go from Hot to Not?
Don't rush -- you don't have to answer right away. It's a toughie.
I'm not rushing. Not at all. BOB and I are doing fine, by the way, if you were wondering whether or not my pants needed getting down.
So I think your question is well worth giving sustained, deep thought to. A year or so. Maybe more. I don't want to do the wrong thing here, give you the wrong impression or anything. No, I'm going to take my time and really think it through.
But you should know one thing. Debt is unattractive to me. Romance Without Finance Is A Nuisance. So until these bills are paid, you'll be romancing Rosie Palm and her 5 sisters. If you know what I mean. And I think you do.
alive: Take it from soon-to-be-divorced-dad-of-9-and-6-year-old. I'd be digging on a divorced-mom-of-9-year-old because she'd know where I was coming from. So you can lock that nonsense away.
As to charming and delightful ol' Uncle Shmedlap. You could write something like this:
Dear WAH: You asked me if I'd like to be friends. I presume you mean "friends with benefits" because I, La Moja, am MILFilicious like a mo-fo.
That's a very good question, and it deserves a very good answer, for two reasons. The first reason is that you are the father of our children, and it would do the children a world of good to have their father in their lives.
The second reason is that there are a lot of other fellas out there who might wonder whether or not I want to be "friends." Because I am La Moja, after all. Being a Hollywoodly fellow yourself, you'll certainly appreciate the awkward position I am in. Apparently, I am somewhat like General Jack D. Ripper -- these men sense my Essence. They sense my power, and they seek the Life Essence.
And frankly I'm stymied here, WAH, so I need your advice.
If you were me, would you be friends with the men who sense my power or with the man who has broken the hearts of those he is supposed to love, has abandoned his responsibilities to minor children, has abandoned his financial responsibilities, has crapped all over his marital vows, sends irritating letters with cherry-picked quotes from the Wikipedia, and who hasn't grown up enough yet to realize that the Hollywood Folk with whom he so desperately wishes to be associated will dump him as easily as they spit out yesterday's nicotine chewing gum -- or have you not noticed how quickly places on Sunset Boulevard go from Hot to Not?
Don't rush -- you don't have to answer right away. It's a toughie.
I'm not rushing. Not at all. BOB and I are doing fine, by the way, if you were wondering whether or not my pants needed getting down.
So I think your question is well worth giving sustained, deep thought to. A year or so. Maybe more. I don't want to do the wrong thing here, give you the wrong impression or anything. No, I'm going to take my time and really think it through.
But you should know one thing. Debt is unattractive to me. Romance Without Finance Is A Nuisance. So until these bills are paid, you'll be romancing Rosie Palm and her 5 sisters. If you know what I mean. And I think you do.
Booya-f*cking-kasha!!!! Oh my God!!! I am crying/laughing.
I don't even want to kill my buzz by commenting further though I do want to aks you a question...got to regain my composure first.
