he is back, i think

[lost-n-Iowa]

Try your hardest to quit wondering about the psycho mistress!! It will only make you go mad too. I did that with my H too and I was finding myself driving by places where he said that he would be and if I seen him some where then I would follow him and see what he was up to. In the end I did not find anything on him but it also made me go insane with the wondering and the 'stalker' like actions I was taking. LOL!!

It sounds like hell in a hand basket for you right now. Part of MWD is doing 180's. If he says things to you that in the past got a certain reaction, like you getting upset, then he still thinks that if he says these things then your reaction will be the same. Follow the previous advice of doing the total oppisite. It is hard to do these things. I know cause I am trying to do it right now with my H, but it can be done. I will admit that I can do it about 50% of the time but that is better than 0% of the time. My H will say things to me that has always made me mad in the past and instead I don't let it get me mad and might change the subject. Confuses the crap out of him that I did not react the way he thought I would.

If YOU can start small then he can only follow if he really wants to make it work. If he doesn't then the D will proceed and you will still be a better person for making the small changes. Remember the question from before?...What would you be doing if your H had died yesterday? What would you be doing? Not worrying about the psycho would be my guess, making preparations for selling if needed, paking and moving. Focus on you and your son, hopefully all else will fall into place if there is still a place for it.

Keep posting. I check on your stitch just about everyday. If your classes are about to end then maybe you can make it a point to go for that walk with your friend everyday (even if you go to the gym too).