Thank you everyone so far for posting. It's nice to see Davidswife again and also thanks Esox for visiting.
Esox, I fought with that decision about 2-3 weeks myself. How much truth should I tell my kids. I have talked with three psychologists about it as well because MY KIDS come first. I don't want to damage them or teach them the wrong values either.
However, reading posts here was what helped me make up my mind.
The biggest influence on my decision was when one poster advising another LBS mentioned that what we parents do NOT wish to do is to instill fear in our children. We don't want to ruin their future R's with their GF/BF/Spouses. We don't want them to think that people in their lives are going to leave them and cheat on or betray them in future.
That is what made up my mind.
I would like my children to have strong, solid, loving relationships throughout their lives. I want them to think the BEST of the people they will meet. To go into R's with a positive outlook, rather than a negative one.
I don't want to DOOM them into thinking that their loved one might someday leave them brokenhearted. I want them to think the best, that their loved one will cherish them, value them and love them unconditionally.
That is my gift to my children. (Not a gift to H to help him cover up his mistakes.)
So I have decided not to tell my kids the whole truth about their father. One day they may learn anyway, but it won't be from me and I intend to keep peace with their dad. So that they will have the strongest family foundation available for them even if H and I are still not together.
That is MY CHOICE. This choice is still within my control. I can only do what is within my own control.
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
