True Love or True Fog? Changing Forums

[Silver Fox]

Thanks NLT,

It took me awhile but I will indeed take care of myself. I've got to muster up some major strength now. H is panicked about money and is pushing for me to sign his retirement withdrawal form to take out $7,000 for the summer until he finds work. He's upset because I told him that the little bit of money I managed to save was not to be used for his "other" life.

I must admit that Friday, when I found out about the low appraisal, I was pretty down and I sent him a curt email:

"Appraisal - $xxx,xxx.
Have a great Memorial Day weekend.
I'm sure you have big plans."

(I know I deserve a 2x4 for this)

Here's his reply today:

I'm sorry to hear about the appraisal and for being slow to get back to you. My "big plans" amounted to taking care of a cancer stricken cat who had her second eye removed last week while (OW's name) worked and babysitting for a 10 year old boy six hours a day for the last three days.


I'm coming to town tomorrow to take care of a few things. I need to get that form from you. No matter what else happens, we need to generate enough income to survive the next three months and this is the only way I can see to do it. As far as the house goes, I have to believe that appraisal reflects the worst possible conditions that existed at the time. That can be fixed to some if not to a large extent. If the house really is that much "underwater" then it is likely eligible for the Obama money since we have not missed any payments. But that assumes you want to refinance it and wait a little while for the market to change. I again renew my offer to dedicate time over the next two months to make what repairs to the house I can in preparation for you taking ownership or putting it on the market. But I can't wait any longer to make that decision. If I am not going to use that time on the house then I have to get what job I can--and sooner rather than later. I would like to try and meet with you one more time tomorrow night if you think we can really put our heads together and make the best we can out of bad situation. If we don't go into that meeting on the 10th with some plan we can agree to already in hand it will be a repeat of last time. As bad as I feel about how little progress we have been able to make toward resolving our issues I am determined to find a way out of this. I'm again asking for your help.

Of course he had to defend himself and make sure I knew his "big plans" involved cat sitting and baby sitting. I don't have any idea who the 10 year old boy is he's referring to but he wants to make sure I know he was not living it up with the girlfriend over the weekend

There's plenty of money right now for bills and living expenses. I don't need the 7 grand HE does. And I'm really angry at how he says "I need to get that form from you. No matter what else happens, we need to generate enough income to survive the next three months and this is the only way I can see to do it."

I'm not really sure at this point how to answer his email. Suggestions anyone??