he is back, i think

[mdoodles]

ok. so now what? i want him home, i think to put an end to the pain, to make it go away, to have him back for my son and for me.

but really, i dont want this, this isnt ok, this is a big big mess and he lied so badly, about everything, and brought more than just me down with it.

i dont know how to change gears so quickly.

most likely he is moving forward with the separation, atleast that is what he told me. i called my lawyer so we are prepared if he does move forward.

but i dont know how to be over him, how to switch from having him him back to now it being ugly.

i just dont know how.

and the psycho mistress? im wondering if she follows me, im wondering if she is going to show up at the store.