Lisa, you're not a failure. No way. You are raising 6 kids, pretty much by yourself. You're a phenomenal success in my book.
You sound like you need a break or some help, get some time to yourself, have some time to rest and get over that cold. Do you have any friends or family nearby that could help you? If not, are there any mothers' groups in your area you could join--share babysitting and those kinds of things?
If you get some time and space to breathe, maybe you can take some long walks (which would help your depression) and just clear your head. First step is just to get to a place where you don't feel so at the end of your rope.
A walk in the sunshine always does me wonders. Even if you can't get childcare, could you put the youngest 2 in a stroller and get the oldest to babysit the others for 1/2 an hour while you take a walk?
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
