Quote: Okay I have to apologize for all my posts/thoughts this morning. I just had another one. Are these pursuing behaviors and things I shouldn't be doing:
Showing up at his job with lunch?
Calling him first?
Giving him cards, not loving cards, just for fun cards?
Calling to just see how his day is going?
Making dinner, not just for him, but for us as a family?
Asking for his help?
I would like his advice on some parenting problems I'm having with s3, which I think should be acceptable as I would like to alwasy be able to turn to him for this kind of problem.
I'm thinking of backing off a lot this next week or so and see what happens. I've only talked to him Tuesday night this week when he came over to see son. Other than that he hasn't called and I haven't called him.
Whoops!! I went and posted to your earlier one to see you did a 180! on me.
There is a difference between pursuing behaviors and behaviors of showing you are no longer going to be negligent to your spouse. You have to find that fine line as to how he will interpret them.
If what you listed works towards breaking his past preceptions, then its not pursuit.
Cathy there is no clear black & white list of 180's that will work for each sitch. It is literally a trial & error process. Try something you havn't done before and keep at it as you observe for a reaction. It may take a few times before knowing if its a positive change or not.
