First Piecing Thread

[Hope4us]

WDID, Pup, Thanks for posting.

Weekend was good. We went out both Sat and Sun. Worked in the yard most of the day Sat. Watched the Indy 500 Sun. Sat in the sun on Monday and later grilled out.

I saw a number of things this weekend that really make me think W is figuring it out. I know I've said this before, but here's a couple of examples. You guys can tell me if I'm just in denial.

Saturday evening we were sitting at the bar/grill near our house, having a pretty good time. There had been quite a bit of sexual joking going back and forth during the day. While we were sitting at the bar, there was a good amount of body contact. At one point W was counting something on her fingers. Like 3 or 4 of something. I asked her what she was counting and she got this sly grin on her face and said "nothing". I let it go, but W is having her monthly fun right now and in 3 or 4 days it should end. Coincidence? Maybe, maybe not.

Yesterday I was grilling dinner and also running inside to fix the rice and also a pasta salad I was making for us to have this week. The pasta salad recipe makes a ton so you can eat on it for a week. Anyway, in the middle of all that I took care of feeding the dogs and while I was downstairs I put in a load of my FR clothing for work. All the food came together and we were just beginning to eat and the washing machine started beeping. W literally ran downstairs to put the FR's in the dryer for me. And when they were done, she folded them and brought them upstairs. I was headed upstairs to watch some basketball and W said in a really excited voice "I folded your FR's and they're on the bench by the stairs". I told her I really appreciated her doing that.

She continues to make all kinds of comments about the future (as in US). She seems like she's trying to be transparent with me. I really do believe she's trying in her own way.

But it's just not in the ways I need. I know, I know, I need to tell her that. And I will when the time is right.

And it's funny, because Sunday I was really in a pissy mood. Not AT her. Just with her and the sitch. So I really wasn't saying much to her. And boy oh boy, was she trying. Talking to me like crazy. Like I said, we were both sitting on the deck in the sun. She was laying out and I was sitting near by in a chair. And I had my back to her most of the day because I was watching the birds fly around our neighborhood (it's a bird watcher thing....). Periodically she'd get up and sit in a chair at the other end of the table to smoke. I kept my back to her. Towards the end of the afternoon, she got up to smoke, sat down at the other end, got up and sat in the chair next to me so she'd be in my sight. I spun my chair a little so I was looking away from her again and she got up and moved to the chair on the other side of the table so she'd be in my sight again.

I sat there kind of giggling inside, but I just wasn't feeling very kindly towards her. anyway, then I started doing the food, etc.

When I did go upstairs to watch the game, I asked W if she could hit the guide channel so I knew what channel the game was on. She said ESPN I think. So she flipped the guide on and confirmed that. I said "I'm going upstairs to watch the game" and she said in a really disappointed voice "oh...ok". I think she was planning on watching the game after the "Bachelorette" was over, but I just couldn't stomach watching that stupid show anymore, so I went to watch the game.

That's about it. And I agree completely with you guys. She hasn't made more moves towards me because she doesn't HAVE to. It's like there's a mountain behind her and one in front of her and right now she doesn't have to climb either one and it's comforting to know (to her). And I also agree that she likes the position of control she's in right now. To be vulnerable with me would be putting herself in a position of giving up that control of the situation she has. And she can call me controlling all she wants (which she hasn't done in a long time), but she's the controlling one in the relationship.

I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing for now. But at some point I'll blow and then she'll have to chit or get off the pot. Not sure when that'll be, but it's coming. I just hope it doesn't come to that.

Oh, and to answer your question WDID....I don't know what I want. It's been so long since I actually thought about what I want, I don't really know. I know I would kill to hear her say "I love you". I know I would kill to see her with her wedding rings on. I know I would kill for her to say "I F'd up and I'm sorry". Beyond that, don't really know.