Hey Mark, I have also blown it multiple times with multiple women. Don't beat yourself up.
She may indeed be punishing you but don't feed it.

Crap, I fed it so badly and got my XW so angry she embellished some of the crap I was doing and got a restraining order on me. Don't go there, leave her be and start over with Db'ing.

Hey 2 years later and I'm friends and talking with XW again, even some flirting. Go figure.

Not so with GF because of my backslides so I'm starting over also. You can do this!

cire

Me 48
X's vary
S 27
S 18
Back with high school sweety after 30 years..