Hi mdoodles I've been MIA too, GALing and vacationing. I talked to the OW a few times. She lied to me. I knew she was lying to me. It made me laugh. I took a couple of subtle swings because I'm much older and wiser! LOL! I understand, sometimes you just want to take a swing and clear the air about a few things. Remember though, she's not exactly a person of high morals...she could be lying too. Here's my take....maybe it is NOT over. I don't know if you can really detach. I don't know if you can really drop the rope because your lives are so intertwined, but you can do this: You can confuse the hell out of him. Stop the fighting. Stop the questioning. Stop seemingly like you care. Go about life as if all was well. Help him save the store or sell it. Let him know you want to repay your parents/family as soon as reasonably possible, knowing it could take years. Encourage him to do whatever it is he wants. If he says "I want to sell the store", for example agree and try to come up with a great reason to do that--one that maybe even he didn't think about. Just chill. When you are mad and freaking out--walk away--you may even keep the option available that you are only walking away for about 5 mins and then you're going back to lay into him....but I agree with lots of other's here....don't make decisions while angry and TRY (the key word is TRY) to not say anything angry either.
Look at it this way: If I could tell you, 100% your H would be home, in bed happy with you and your family again, thriving as a man and as a huband and as a father and a business owner/employee, whatever.....could you tolerate all this BS you've already lived through? I know the answer for me is yes, yes I could. So basically, stay positive. It's not over. It's dark, but not over. I'm lighting candles for you, so you can still see.
