Thank you so much everyone. I really thought I was doing so well until this happened. It is hard to lean on family because I am trying to be strong for my parents. XH was always my rock, but I know he isn't the same person now.
He actually did finally send me an email telling me he could meet up and talk to me. Now after reading your posts I am wondering if that is a good idea. I don't want to go back to that place where I am constantly thinking about him....but I do feel I need to talk to him. Mishka, this isn't something I can discuss with anyone in my family because it was something that was hidden from me. I am not ready to bring it up with them. I guess I will just have to think about it some more.
When he came to the visitiation he cried and hugged me and told me that he had so much guilt and he was so sorry for the way things turned out. I mean he cried uncontrollably when he was saying this. I guess I just expected that he would at least call and check on me. I know...expectations...
My life has just changed so much over the past few years that it is almost more than I can bear. Maybe I am just reaching out to xh to give myself some sense of what was....maybe to feel some normalcy in my life.
