OK for men with wives having an affair, has OM...

[AFWAW]

AFWAW, I have looked for the beginning of your sitch to read your story but couldnt find it.

FF,
In a nutshell, I was deployed to Iraq for 6 months and my wife had 4 PAs and 1 EA, the latest who she claims she is in love with. She left me the day after I returned and my daughter. She let me believe I was the reason she left for 2 months. She then called one day and admitted the PAs and EA and said she wanted to come home. She did so for 3 hours and then left again.

She has threatened to file many times but so far has not.

The only thing I can comment on right now just from what I have read is that you are VERY ANGRY. this is normal... but you have to ask yourself right now: even if she came back TOMORROW, where do you think all that anger over all this time is gonna go?

I am angry but it's not all because of her. I'm angry at myself for not seeing this coming, for not giving my wife the attention and affection that she needed, for not communicating better throughout our marriage, and for not setting my priorities as I should. I'm angry because I want the opportunity to do so and don't see that I'm going to get the chance with her.

WOULD SHE DO THAT, the answer is PROBABLY NOT.

I agree, she would probably not. So, what is the answer then? I don't know.

I just will nothing is gonn change that LOVE. but I dont RESPECT him and he could NEVER do all the things needed to regain that respect. Could your wife, at this stage?

This one perplexes me. She doesn't respect me enough to be with me but she respects me enough to raise our daughter. I don't get it.

i know it seems way too exhausting to bother with someone else (boy do I know) but exhaustion at the idea of letting someone new in and starting again isnt good enough to keep fighting for someone who does NOT WANT you to fight for them and could NEVER regain your respect, ANYWAY.

I feel this way--I don't want to bother w/ someone else.

there are many of us out there you know, and there are women out there like you just waiting and hoping, we miss each other thru the fogs of our drama in fighting... think about that some... you might think no thats not true... but it is. I thnk you need to DATE.

Where are these women? I really don't feel like I'm ready to date a this point and probably won't until I am divorced.

I feel like if she chooses to divorce me then I will be forced to have no contact w/ her, EVER! This will be difficult b/c of our daughter but it will be the only way I can maintain my sanity. Thanks very much for you time and feedback. Anything else you can provide would be greatly appreciated.