WAW/Affair Exposed - Advice? #3

[DCBHM]

D1 was doing good this morning. She kept trying to leave the nursery and walk out in the hallway. I kept stepping in her way and she'd get frustrated and start crying. I took her into another room to play with toys, and eventually when it was time to leave I gave her to one of the workers. All of a sudden she started crying and whining after me when I left.

I saw W walking out the door. She just smiled and reciprocated "good morning" and I honestly don't know what to think at this point. She just acknowledges me - but I don't think she is really that thrilled that she's being exposed.

I think I am angry at this point... I haven't done anything to deserve the treatment I received at the hands of W/MIL. All of a sudden they want to play nice and polite, and I haven't heard a peep out of their attorney. W was living under the delusion that this would all be over in thirty days... now we are heading down to the trial and she is starting to act nicer. I'm not sure of the status of her and OM at this point - he was throwing a party yesterday but I didn't see her there and apparently she was at home with MIL.

I've been 'dark' since the end of April. It seems like she is trying various things to get my attention right now... not acknowledging me, making a fuss over the kids, acting nice and starting conversations, etc.

I just don't think I'm going to listen at this point... she has been all too happy to try and destroy me. Although I expected at some point she'd have an "Oh crap!" moment and start trying to keep me open as an option - I feel as though I deserve better and honestly there is probably too much resentment to overcome at this point.

Since I suspect she is BPD, the whole "Keep your distance a little closer." dance is frustrating and I don't really have time for that.

I have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of at this point. She basically pushed me into a corner legally and I came out on top with the better hand. I'm more concerned about getting the custody I want with D1 than about my M. Quite honestly... she has nothing to offer me at this point as my W.

What would I be getting out of this relationship? What needs would she be meeting? She is just an entitled acting piece of trash at this point, and I'm better off without having to deal with the roller coaster. She has the attitude as if I would be privileged to have her back. If anything I'd be resentful and I really don't think I have the patience to work through it, nor does she seem to possess the capacity.

Quite frankly... I don't think the price I'd pay is worth it anymore. I deserve better and so do my children.