Gabe doesn't miss my family one bit really. He always felt overwhelmed and an outsider no matter how much they included him and worked around him. His issue! He knew my family was large, loud, close and crazy before he married me.
Yesterday was a great Memorial Day (except that I had to work the last half of it at the grocery). Spent the afternoon at my friend Jill's house with her kids, our other friend and two of her kids and Marc. I had to practically drag him out of the pool so I could get home and change for work. I was so glad he was having so much fun though.
Yesterday morning Gabe decided to takle the rest of the garage, sorting stuff for yard sale, keep, and trash piles. I went out to help a little and he handed me a picture and asked me what to do with it. It was the huge portrait of us from our wedding - my mom's copy of it. I took it and held it up and said, "Oh look, when we were young and stupid." He said, "Yeah, and now we're old and stupid." I told him to speak for himself. It didn't hurt at all to find that though. You know what gouged at me? I opened a box of miscellaneous stuff and in there was a massive Valentine's Day card I had kept from when we were engaged. He had written such wonderful, lovely things in it to me. He expressed how much he loved me, couldn't wait for me to be his wife, and how I was going to be "stuck" with him forever and ever. Gee......we see how that went. I nearly threw it away but I think I'm going to keep it, like I have the letters he wrote me and love notes he used to leave on my car, to give to Marc along with all the photos of us through the years. I don't want Marc to ever get an idea in his head that he was not created from a passionate, deep love. It also reminded me that I was once loved. Something that I will need to hold on to for those dark times ahead. My heart still breaks with loneliness and sadness for all the lost dreams, but at least I had them once. That's more than some people are ever fortunate enough to have. I'll carry them to my grave.
Today is gloomy here, but I'm going to go out and get some exercise in it anyway. The air is so thick with humidity that it's like sucking water into your lungs and drowining drop by drop. Yuck! Gotta love the steamy south. HOTLANTA!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
I was so glad he was having so much fun though.
It didn't hurt at all to find that though. You know what gouged at me? I opened a box of miscellaneous stuff and in there was a massive Valentine's Day card I had kept from when we were engaged. He had written such wonderful, lovely things in it to me. He expressed how much he loved me, couldn't wait for me to be his wife, and how I was going to be "stuck" with him forever and ever. Gee......we see how that went. I nearly threw it away but I think I'm going to keep it, like I have the letters he wrote me and love notes he used to leave on my car, to give to Marc along with all the photos of us through the years. I don't want Marc to ever get an idea in his head that he was not created from a passionate, deep love. It also reminded me that I was once loved. Something that I will need to hold on to for those dark times ahead. My heart still breaks with loneliness and sadness for all the lost dreams, but at least I had them once. That's more than some people are ever fortunate enough to have. I'll carry them to my grave.
