LBS Need help and support #3

[antlers]

Hi faithisbelieving.

No, I did not do drugs. No, I was not an alcoholic. No, I did not beat my wife.

I was angry and resentful, and unfortunately, I vented that anger and resentment at my wife. My anger and resentment had nothing to do with her either! It was me; I had some underlying issues and I didn't know how to deal with them constructively and appropriately. It was a lack of compassion on my part...for myself and for others.

It's not 'woe is me' FIB, it's just a reality...a truth...a fact. And I have a lot of regret and remorse and guilt because of it. It's just hard for me to deal with it sometimes. I messed up, and hurt those that I cared about the most.

I didn't have the tools necessary at the time to deal constructively and appropriately with the issues, but I have learned so much and I have grown a lot. I intend to continue doing that no matter what.

She didn't really do much wrong...that's the truth. She loved me. I wish that she hadn't left our home and our marriage, and broken our family apart...I think she was wrong when she did that. But, I understand her belief that she had to do it...and I'm sure it was hard.

She did a lot of forgiving over the years, we talked and discussed the issues a lot too! She worked very hard at our marriage. I never made the changes that I needed to make though...I was an idiot. I started making the changes after she started withdrawing from the marriage. I wish I knew then what I know now.

It would be unrealistic for me to not shoulder my responsibility in all of this. I am a better man now...I just wish that things hadn't gotten to the point that they did before I pulled my head out of my a$$.

I appreciate your input FIB.