I think your wife is infatuated by this guy at work, but theres no way to tell (for me at least) at this stage if she would be having an affair with him, or not.
I know nothing about your sitch, but I think from WHAT YOU have told me, you might want to try the hardline right now on her - because it seems early days to me (its possible your w is infatuated with him, but that nothing has actually HAPPENED, and for YOU that would be a GREAT TIME to lay down the hard line.)
if you suspect this also... and think she's not involved with hima as yet but only infatuated... then GO HARD. tell her EVERYTHING.
SHOCK your wife to death by telling her you know all about the texting and you check on her and go hard: SHOCK her more by saying you are going to CONFRONT this guy if she doesnt agree to cease ALL CONTACT RIGHT NOW with him, or you will GO to him and you WIL DEMAND answers. STAND UP for yourself and go HARD, take a risk and tell her outright: I WILL FIND OUT, I WILL ASK HIM, I WILL ASK YOUR CO WORKERS and heres the kicker I WILL ASK YOUR BOSS, I WILL ASK HIM whats going on and where this man IS.
this is not the usual thing id suggest - its pretty hard. but I would for YOU, if I am reading your sitch right and your w is infatuated but hasnt DONE anything yet. if you can go hard on her NOW before anything HAPPENS, then you might scare her (and him bc she'll tell him beleive me) how hard your going and how far your prepared to go.
WHILE going hardline, also tell her: if this ends RIGHT NOW, we'll never speak of this again, we will forget this, i will never raise this with you, but this ENDS or I will MAKE it end. be a bit SCARY. can you do that?
SOMETIMES (geez I know some people are gonna hate this... ) sometimes people need a GOOD SCARE. try the bluff scare and it might work for you if things havent gone too far.
LOOK honestly? Id also call this bloke up and id tell him to leave my wife alone. you have A RIGHT. dont be crazy man dont be insane just call him and very calmly tell him "leave my wife alone. thats all i am going to say; you leave her alone, right now. shes married to me".
believe it or not, SOME OP MEN (not so much ows. but men) actually listen and will back right off, it turns them off (SOMETIMES) and at the very least you will have made it awkward for your Wife.
TIME TO MAKE IT AWKWARD I THINK.
When you're down to nothing, God is up to something.
