I know we are not supposed to analyze every little thing, but I do think a little self analysis is healthy.
I am still working on my own character flaws......I think it is a lifetime job!!
One of the bad things I have noticed about myself is the need for truth.
Ever since MLC I have absolutely no tolerance for lies, betrayal, gossip and basically all BS and drama.
I am not talking about my Marriage, I am talking more about my relationships with others.
I am finding it so hard to let things go, and not let them get to me.
I know all the pat answers, I know I should grow a thicker skin.
In the time that my Husband has been home, I have returned to the work force, only to end up quitting my jobs.
All for the same reason.
The backstabbing, the gossip, the drama.
Unfotunately I live in a small Town of 2500 people and everyone knows your business or rather assumes they know.
I wish I had the ability to go to work and just pretend the crap isn't happening. Just do my job, and ignore the BS.
I feel I have a need to defend myself, and stick up for myself.
Obviously this is not working for me.
The other part is my age. I have worked with people in their 20's who have different priorities in their lives and assume that because I am old, I am obviously the enemy.
I have heard the comments that I have no clue about life because I have a Husband who has a good job and I live in a big house. They honestly know nothing about what I have endured with the MLC stuff.
I have tried speaking to my Boss's but this got me nowhere. Their interest is in running a store and having people covering their shifts. They are not interested in a peaceful work environment.
It is too hard for me to sit back and allow myself to be trashed and be the scapegoat for these people.
So obviously this is my problem, my issues, and I don't seem to be able to change it.
So where does that leave me now?
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
