Demo's went well in IA... Picked up boss at the airport, went to the customers (upon which I was promptly ordered to change my pants! I was wearing capri trousers and the Safety Officer said your legs had to be covered... Had to run to a Kohl's and buy trousers! Not many non-capri style's out in the summer! LOL). We did the demo of our instrument, and it went well!!! It was the first time I'd played with it, boss, as well. We didn't look inexperienced! I think the prospect likes us, too. We're both pretty NON-serious business types. Had fun w/them, applied a bit of pressure, etc..., made them feel smart!
Then, my boss says, "well how far is it to Madison"I said, "Well, four hours is what the nav system says..." Ok, he says, how far is it for you to go home from Madison then? I say, "Oh, about an hour..." He says, "MB, you said it took you three hours to get here..." I say, "yep." Boss says, "WHY are we going to Madison if your house/area is on the way!? Can't we just drive to Madison in the am, and go to your house/area?"
DUH! BLONDE MOMENT! Gosh, we laughed about that until I had no more mascara on...
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, we called H and told him we'd be home, and asked him to clear out S12's room for the night (it's on top floor, w/a bathroom and private) for boss. H ordered sushi and Japanese teppan food for us for pick-up, and we had a great evening at my house w/boss and family. We ate, set-up the new instrument for today's demo (actually, my boss had my boys do it so we could say it's that easy!), and got some sleep.
Fun night. H likes boss a lot, and I think he's great and very funny. Superb business owner, and incredible in sales. Plus, he's a newlywed! He glows!
Wish us luck today!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
I don't know what's happening, though... I keep tearing up. My mind is playing games w/me. I keep having these flashes of intimate moments w/my H, a song reminds me of it, etc... It's really becoming too much. I know I've only been db'ing since November, but he dropped the bomb (and our physical marriage) a year and a half ago. What if it never comer comes back? Am I willing to live like this?
You can all say detach, GAL, etc... GAL activities can only do so much, you still THINK, and how do you detach from someone you have so much contact with? We live in the same house. We share the same bed. We do almost everything together (when he's home, and not working). He shows interest in me overall. We get along fine, in fact, pretty good. I know he likes me. He just has lost all interest beyond that.
It's heartbreaking.
Sorry... I had to get this out here because otherwise I'd be tempted to call or txt him and initiate some kind of conversation. I won't though. I'll stay strong through my silent tears.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
H called last night, and I missed the call. Returned his call about 45 minutes later. Not sure why he called, but told me about his sister's breast cancer treatment plan, what his other sister is doing in support, etc... BC started the demise of his mom's health, when he was a baby. She died when H was 20, but lived a lot of her last years in pain.
He wanted to know about my day w/my boss... H really liked him. Told him about our demo, and some funny moments throughout the day. Great news! All demo's of equipment went great! (you never know w/technology products! We had issues w/a hand-held computer that runs a pipettor not powering on... I fixed it. Had the boss hit it a few times next to the wires! LOL FLUKE!) Told H about my boss asking us to reserve the first week of October. The boss takes his sales team and their spouses somewhere for the week, just to have fun. He and his wife are getting their captain's licenses, and want to rent a big boat for all of us to stay on. Or, if that doesn't work out in timing, they want to do a week in Napa. H had a 44 foot cruiser when we met, and LOVES the water, AND we are avid wine fans, and have been to all sorts of wine events... H was thrilled to hear what a great week to look forward to. So, that is good. At least he wants to go with me!
Another day, off to the races... Thanks for letting me vent! I/m proud that I didn't try to talk to him about my emotions last night.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Most of the time was fine, fun, and enjoyable... T
The rough patches included a time on Saturday when we're driving back from soccer game and H the idea to stop and eat somewhere, but couldn't decide where, the boys couldn't decide if they were hungry, and I just said, "Not sure if you looked in the fridge when you were home this am, but there is left over Japanese and Sloppy Joe's if you're looking for something easy..." H reacts with a "YOUR MOTHER wants us to eat at home, and that's what we'll do..."
Second rough patch... we're in the car, and S9 is all over the third row seat. I turn around and tell him to sit in one seat, and put his seat belt on. H turns around and says, "It's not illegal to be in the third row seat w/out a seatbelt." WTF? Why wouldn't he WANT him in a seatbelt even IF it was legal? So, he goes silent... I'm laughing and joking with the boys, and I finally say to him, "So are you going to not speak to me/us now because I asked S9 to put a seatbelt on?" (Would have remained silent and pouted before...) H said, "No, no one is talking to me." He then slowly warms up, offering a joke after about three minutes of silence.
Third rough patch... AGAIN, in the car... (Maybe we just shouldn't ride/drive together? LOL) I asked H to drive by where D18 and her fellow seniors "Painted the Dam." He forgets to make the turn, and I tell him that the dam is off of "Alpine Rd.," and did he forget? He said, "OH, and I'm supposed to remember?" I said, "It's ok, I'll just drive by and see it tomorrow am, or on the way to school on Monday." H says, "Arent YOU the martyr?" I said, "I am not a martyr, as I was just telling you not to worry about it, as I thought you didn't realize where it was! I'll just go by another time. No big deal." He swings the car around (screeching), spills my S12's ice cream, mumbles some profanity, and heads to the dam. S's and I walk out to see the dam up close, and when we get back in the car, he's asking all about it, and appears to be back to normal.
OK, now these three items are sprinkled in with MOSTLY good. I took the boys EARLY to their soccer games, offering to let him sleep in on Saturday am since he had not gotten in from working until very late. We laughed and laughed at the soccer game with another couple (my H asking me to help tell stories of funny events in our history...). I made one of his favorite dinners last night. He asked me to watch tv with him... We cleaned out the garage together, and did some lawm stuff together...
The rejection hurts to the core though... I can't get rid of the tears when alone. It's clouding everything.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Ok..I have questions...and I see some good in the last posts...
so..I get the emotional thing you are going through right now..i really do..GAL will help with that...you just have to believe that it will...
the car episodes...referred to as 1, 2, and 3...lol..I only read one as life and death(seat belt)..I can see why you would say what you said..it is a safety issue...Can you see where your husband might take offense to what you said to him..
Men hate to be called out..in public in front of their kids..whatever..most men hate that..driving is another issue..molst men like to think they can navigate where they want and it becomes an issue when someone trys to tell them where to/how to go...
don't sweat the small stuff....it will make things easier..just my .02
First: What company do you work for? I certainly wouldn't mind a week in Napa valley as perk through work!! WOW!!
OK, sorry for that, just HAD to ask!
On to the serious: Mike's got a point. As a guy, what I read in your remark to your H about the leftovers in the fridge (if you said it exactly like you wrote) is: we shouldn't eat out, we should finish what's in the fridge first. That's how that sounds to me. Having said that, that alone shouldn't be enough to merit his response, but he was probably in a foul mood to begin with (judging by the other reactions). You will just have to let these kinds of things slide off your back. Decide if he has a legitimate reason to be pissed off, if not, let it slide off and don't pay any attention to it. Do as you did, joke with the kids as if nothing's bothering you.
Thanks for peeking back in... I get "it" now that you've said it, about men hating to be called out in public.
Guess it doesn't work when I sit, smile, and "take it" either though...
We had a great night tonight. S12 had a 6th grade graduation ceremony, and then we went with about ten other families out for Italian. Very fun! S12 rented a tux for the occasion! White w/black pinstripes, with a purple vest and tie!
No episodes this evening! We goofed off and laughed with my parents, the kids, and our friends at dinner.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Actually, SNARKY could actually be his middle name. However, I've been thinking about this... He hasn't been NEARLY as SNARKY since "the bomb." Claims he didn't "care" what went on... Just going on about life w/out investing... Maybe the SNARKINESS returning is good! It's been the way he has been FOREVER! I do notice that if I give it back to him (w/out being blatantly disrespectful) he turns around faster.
This is all just one aspect of "us."
The real issue is his separating of himself physically (sexually) and emotionally (heart) from me. How can he have such a good time with me/us, enjoy himself, look forward to events, and keep that part of "us" that makes "us" "us" absent? I don't get it. We used to go away every anniversary overnight for the weekend... used to go a few times a year, at least overnight for a day or two... used to do out together on "dates." His life now is being w/me because I am w/the kids (it appears), but HE ENJOYS HIMSELF! He's not sitting there mad at me, not complaining about me... He smiles, laughs, asks me to help him w/stories, asks me to recall a funny memory, etc...
Sh*t.
We were the best when he was SNARKIEST... makes me insane, but at least "we" connect then...
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
