Thank you Addie! I guess that just depressed me, I was hoping he was back in the US. It sure doesn't sound like it's going to plan & I don't know this but I have a feeling it was her ideal to stay over there. This is just my thinking & I could be wrong. Just a little down right now. The weather is beautiful & we used to go camping some & also setting out flowers & plants together. I really enjoyed the spring with him.
nlt, I think that deep down, you were hoping he would be back in the states and that is what is bringing you down...expectations. N, it's a long road and it's paved w/much heartache. If they both aren't working, it won't be long before they begin their journey home to the states. The job market is very difficult and more so overseas...keep in mind, they don't pay quite as much as other countries do.
Everything has a season and your season has truly just begun. Start making plans for the summer and think of some new things to do, something you've not done before. It's time to start experimenting w/new hobbies, gardening, etc.
Leave the wondering and what ifs to the man upstairs. He knows exactly what he's doing in your situation.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I am sorry that you continue to feel sad that your H left you and wonder what he is up to. Its completely natural that you would feel that way, after such a long R and the frankly cruel way he left (to not even have a friendship with you).
I dont think you can assume anything from him still living in Thailand with her. They may be having lots of fun, but they may be argueing..my Dad visits Thailand alot and he has said you can live very cheaply there (�1.20 for a restaurant meal) and also, it is very beautiful. But.. he M her. Is there any way that you can work on your acceptance of that?
I feel you need to be very busy and distracted to get you through this tough period of your life. What can you throw yourself into to help you do that? How about going back to college? You can retrain and meet new people then. I have felt much much better since I have been very busy, doing 10 hour days, not sitting around the house so much as I used to. You just need help to heal NLT.
I know I just have to turn it over to the Lord. Sometimes I do really well & other times I don't.
I have been very busy working in my yard this week & dealing with Poison ivy, this stuff is terrible! I know I'm like everyone else on here but I really can't believe all this has happened to us! We were very close, we would even walk to the mailbox together holding hands. He still feels like family to me. I know I have to let go & let God. Sometimes I can do that & other times I cannot.
It was very shocking the way he left me. One night I thought everything was fine & he walked in said he wanted a D no discussion about it! That was it! Talk about being hit by a brick wall! Never in a million years would I have thought he would have done something like this, plus I see all the signs of MLC's, now I do but then I didn't.
I have been doing better, I promise I have but I just have these times when I get really down & still just miss him so bad & now is that time. I have a wedding that I have to go to, I'm not looking forward to it!!! It's my cousin who was like a sister to me that died suddenly (threw my ex into MLC when she died) anyway it's her oldest son. I have to go support him, it's really going to be sad her not being there plus with what I've been thru, it's going to be rough. I talked with her husband last weekend at the youngest son's high school graduation & he said he was really dreading the wedding without my cousin being there. He is having a hard time himself.
Ok, I've gone on long enough, thanks for listening & being here for me!!!
I have to tell you, that with a heart such as yours, you are not only destined to be loved but that you will be just fine no matter the outcome... even if your hub never returns.
Remember this cuz you seem to beleive in God very much and have turned to him... God might know whats better for you, in the long term, than you do. He might have other plans for you. He might know your loving heart needs to be protected, right now, and be standing in your way as such, but for a good reason.
My own left me 3 years ago this sept, and its the same thing, only partner only marriage, and of course I miss him deeply despite all the horrible things he did. but i also know, that the fact he NEVER returned and NEVER said another word to me or my kids, might be the work of GOD. GOD protects his children, even if it might seem hurtful to you. you have to have faith that one day, you might be happier and better off.
I spent a lot of time praying for the return of my own hub, only to realise I had prayed all my life for protection and maybe, God WAS protecting me. I might not like it or want it but it may be protection all the same. Sometimes, people change so drastically they are no longer who we knew. it is sad and so horrible but it happens; and the LORD might know whats right for you and even though he hears your prayers, has to harden his heart, SO THAT you are protected...
no one predicts a MLC. myself, I might have predicted it or even a breakup or a OW, but I would have laughed in your face if you'd suggested he'd abandon his kids. I would NEVER HAVE BELEIVED IT and would have sworn NO. not possible. but it happened. people change and sometimes for the worse. sometimes you have to accept the changes, and realise the person you once knew, is dead now. the new person in their body, isnt who you knew. its someone else and they dont know you. or deserve you...
love an blessings... xoxoxo
When you're down to nothing, God is up to something.
NLT, I'm sorry that the memories tend to come on suddently. What happened to you has happened to so many over the years. They do not tell us they are unhappy or share w/us what is on their minds. We are to "assume" what they are thinking/feeling...can't happen w/out communication. We truly do not ever have closure to the situation and walk the earth thinking about it from time to time.
As for your cousin's wedding, go and try to have a good time. Your cousin will be there and will be smiling down on all of you. She's w/each of you every day and on the wedding day of her son...well, she'll be right there front and center.
Poison ivy is terrible this year. I think it's because of all the rain. I've been using Round Up to take care of the nasty little vine. It takes a number of applications to finally get rid of it.
N, please take care of yourself. Explore those feelings and then let them go. Okay?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
We posted to each other a while back, in fact, you were one of the first posters on my thread. I've been following you off and on.
My heartache is similar. H left with little warning - I thought we were fine too. This time of year is tough for me as well. We went camping, hiking, boating and fishing. He's given it all up for the OW.
Karma takes her time but one day she will catch up with your H and his new bride. Perhaps they think she doesn't travel as far as Thailand? They are sadly mistaken.
Stay strong. As I tell myself over and over again - this too shall pass.
Me 56 H 47 Married 21 years No children Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself". Ow Bomb 8/07 H filed 6/08 D final 2/05/10
I am sorry that you still have days on which you are sad. Yes, they do come from time to time but you will see that they will not be so frequent as time goes by.
I wish you a lovely time and hope that you can also continue to GAL. It helps so much.
Hi everyone! Thank you all so much for posting to me!! It really means a lot. I remember posting to you Silver fox, b/c neither one of us have kids that was something we had in common.
I'm working for the temp firm this week & I'm only answering phones & it is very slow. They said I could use the internet so I thought I would try to catch up some. Seems like when I'm home I've always got something to do.
I'm a little better than I was. You are so right, Karma will catch up with them no matter where they are. I know I just have to give everything time. The holiday was a little hard for me but I made it.
Poison Ivy is still bad, but not as bad as it was. Although it seems to be breaking out in different places on me but I keep putting cream so maybe it will help. I sprayed round up on the actual vine but nothing has happened, thanks for the tip that it will take several sprayings to get rid of it.
I'll write more later, several people are coming in the office right now.
