yes the OP is like an addiction and mostly the addiction is that of DRAMA, which is exciting and awesome and always keeps you in the moment just like in an episode of Days. The drama is hard to wean off, and yes usually when it all blows over theres a lot of sorrow and regret...
i might suggest tho, that her hateful behavior to you, is a sign of self hatred... you are after all... part of her... and when we have an A, and we dont like ourselves much, we tend to try to destroy that part of ourselves...
most people in crisis, do this, to their partner. its part of why its so destructive, it isnt helpful knowing, but at least its informed. its like they think, by denigrating and denying you and who you are, that is going to denigrate the relationship and what it was. they bulk you and the R you had together as one and destroying you might destroy the R and the memories...
all you can really do is hold onto who you are. and know what you had; and what your R was bc she has probably rewritten history on that. she will either one day realise what she did and be sorry, or continue with her rewritten script..
blessings and warmth and I hope you are coping thru this bad time... hold onto what you know to be your own truth
When you're down to nothing, God is up to something.
