Thanks for your insight about the culmulative affect of the things going on right now, and their affect with making me "weak." I suppose I should cut myself some slack and take the time to regroup. Perhaps the culmination of events was what I needed to move forward with this sticky wicked. Some sort of blessing in disguise.
At first I was kind of glad that XH called to apologize but I'm not sure I like his motives (as Snodderly pointed out). I still don't think it's O.K. to act like a jerk and then offer a thin apology with such a lousy excuse for bad behavior. This whole thing has made me kind of sour of XH and his maturity level. He strikes me as kind of wimpy and that isn't really very appealing. Like...ICK!
I had a brilliant idea about the "letter." I have thought about what I would write/say so many times that I really don't believe that writing it down NOT to send would have any positive impact for me. I remembered that I still have his childhood bible and I plan to send it to him. There will be no note and believe me I have examined MY motives on this one. It is the last "conrete" piece of XH I have left. I think by sending it would serve the purpose of closure for me. No more loose ends...kind of clearing out the cobwebs. I would like to think for him it would be nice to have and it shouldn't leave any "bad taste in his mouth." There is no significance to "us" tied to it and it doesn't "mean" anything as far as he would be concerned.
I must admit I have felt more "liberated" the past few days.
