Quote: Regarinding the new title, the first few lines of this song are in now way related to my sitch!
mamma, ooohoh, just killed a man...put a gun up to his head pulled the trigger now he's dead????
what???? this is now your sit?? or maybe I have the wrong begining.
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I'm wondering if anyone has suggestions on how to bring up the visitation thing with H. I want to put it on him to come with a solution. Part of me doesn't want to make him commit to anything, I don't know why, maybe this was one of my problems with our M. "If you aim at nothing, you'll hit it everytime" which is what I did a lot of, it was easy to not to ask him to do things or agree to things because then I'd have nothing to complain about and it also made me feel crappy which was how I was used to feeling....does that make sense? This will be a big step for me if I can get H to agree to a visitation...it will also make me feel really good and will also allow me to plan my week. So feel the fear and do it anyway?
I would simply ask..."can we come up with a schedule for son3, so that we each will be able to plan our week and his accordingly?" be flexible and open to suggestions and let him know that not only would it be helpful to both of you as adults to have a schedule set up, but it would also be tremendously helpful for son to have some structure.
Quote: At this BB a lot of poeple talk about having a hard time with trust and forgiveness of the S once they're back home. Right now, as you know he's not home, but I can forgive him and I think I would be able to trust him again. Did anyone feel like that before S decided to recomit to the M again? And then once they were back everything changed?
a yup!! while h was gone..I thought ok I forgive him for what he did...if he'd only come home and work on things...this ow doesn't matter...our family is more important than some mistake he made.
it does change a bit when they're home..but it doesn't have to.
Quote: I don't know if it would be a 180, because I have left before or had plans when I knew he'd be there. A 180 would be for me to stay away for the whole day and not come back till midnight.
well there's a difference between going out and staying out til he puts son to bed and comming home at midnight...figure out what would be the best 180 for you and go for it.
