Thanks so much for your response. That's exactly what I feel like...like I am being kept on a string and just given enough "whatever" to keep hangin' on for just a little bit longer...just in case. That in itself makes me feel remotely like a doormat and I guess part of the reasoning behind my actions (or inactions) right now. I am not comfortable being available on XH's terms and when it's convenient for him. There's a lot to be said for hope and open communication and all that happy cr@p but I would never put up with a one-sided R with any of my other friends or family or whatever and I'm not going to do it now.
I had forgotten about the "mother" factor. I had always been appalled that I might be viewed that way by XH. I would want a partner in a R, not a child or someone to take care of.
