thinly peeled layers seeing things all hazy heart beating so fast tired, amped and crazy
make it to the top i'll watch and crumble quietly observing takes less guts than living crying hurts more than giving love is nothing but a word that haunts with meaning fleeting day by day still i long for and wish those words could whisper my pain away
but there's nothing there but steely tones the lack of feeling penetrates my bones
drama yes, humiliatingly raw my mind is a whirl i feel like just a girl silly and awkward and blushing and flawed the torture of age is more than just wrinkles but the vacuum of knowledge can't i even know what I thought I knew?
so that a screw will do any piece of you laying with me on top or beside gentle or brutish a cuddle or pounding feels like life breathed back into a corpse and I get to feel like the woman I thought i was if only for moments that devolve into memories i reflect on, dissect and explore for some meaning usually to conclude it was all so demeaning
must i be deprived of my crack? do i have to drive a wedge? the flowers smelled so lovely, your body heat so warm damn you for leaving and staying at once make me pluck you out of the crevices one by one and send you off so i can fulfill your expectations I'm the rejector, the bitch, the ball-buster slowy but surely you ARE losing your luster
cause the tearing and scarring, they don't turn me on how long will i want you just because you're gone?
come closer please spend a bit more time remind me why i loathed you and sunk into my "mine" repulse me with your bragging and "woe is me" ways can't we have another marathon of f*cked up days? so I can remember that I want to run? that you are not the one who is tossing me out that really you drain me of life and inspiration?
The further you are, the more i am longing i hear the Debussy remember the Baudelaire mmmm...you are smooth with your music and rhymes you'll have a field day out there wooing anew yep, you were deep you were smooth, you were romantic did i turn you into this? did I miss all that splendor? or were just a star-f*cking cad and I, your clueless defender
too tired to figure it out? so am i why is it that I even try? quiet my mind. make it still just one time tell me you love me tell me if you were half of who I thought you were, you would be here the man I wish you would be.
Goodbye my love, or weighted glove or piece of cr*p or beautiful sap this long goodbye, another waste of words so much said, but so little purged Goodbye you, whoever you are. Goodbye.
I so feel the part I highlighted in blue. Thanks for posting this!
"It is excruciating pain. It is the pain of separation, the pain of loss, the pain of dreams and expectations unrealized. It is the loss and death of a mirage."
