How do I not let this control my every thought?

[PositivelyMommy]

Sorry to barge in here mdoodles but I think I can help Travis.

I think what I have done is to separate the behavior from the person.

You disagree with the behavior. The bad decisions, impulsive choices, destructive, selfish actions. But since you have been together for 11 years, I guess some of the time, it was good, right? You didn't marry her because she lacked good qualities. Those good qualities are her character. Her character hasn't changed, it's the behavior you disagree with.

So if you can, put your hope into the fact that she still has good values inside of her. That they are there somewhere. Because if they are, then she is probably is (or soon will have to) come to terms with her own actions. Then the burden is on herself to live with her choices. Not YOURS.

So let her go. REALLY wish her well. She is forever the mother to your boys and I am sure you want the BEST for them.