Newly Separated and Heartbroken

[The Wifey]

ALJ,

Welcome to our community, although it really sucks we had to meet this way. You are in a good place to get support.

The best advice I can give you to begin with is to recognize your part in the M. The WA is not right to just walk, it isn't fair, it really stinks, but that does not absolve any of us from any of our mistakes.

That being said, you do not have ALL the blame. Remember that you are only human and you both got into a rut.

GAL is hard to do to begin with. You really do not know what to do to get started with. I found I did best by first of all taking note of all the little things around me. I looked at beautiful sunrises, I smiled at little children, I took note of the people around me. I ate food I liked, spent more time selecting the clothes I wore, took time with my makeup, wore my jewelry.

Give yourself time to grieve. I could own stock in the Puff's tissue company. Cry your eyes out when you need to. But set a time limit. When the time is up, you have to get up and go and do and experience.

When he does call, you can sound upbeat. Fake it until you make it. For sure you want to ask him to reconsider. Asking won't make it happen right now. Do not let him know how upset you are. Don't call him, just wait for him to initiate the contact.

By being upbeat, that does not mean to be chatty. Tell him as little as possible about what is going on or what you have been up to.

Strap on the big-girl panties, because this will be a rough ride. It won't be quick, never is, but the course is not set in stone. A legal separation is just that. It could lead to a D, but it won't necessarily.

The hardest part is accepting the reality of the situation. It hurts like anything. I know, believe me.

But it starts today. You get to figure you out. You get to change you and grow. And we will be here to help support you. One day at a time. Breath deep.