I was supposed to get divorced tomorrow - part 2

[1853dave]

Hmm, I guess my last thread got locked. Not sure why, so I'll continue on here.

I'll have to see what I last posted, but things have been going ok. Had a meeting with the DB counselor Friday, and she tells me to "keep doing what you're doing...it's working!" Things have been going pretty well, all things considered. We are still separated, but we are communicating well, and often (daily). I even 'tested the water' last week and asked her if she'd like to take a walk with me this weekend, time permitting, and maybe we can just go do something. She said she'd see...she wasn't sure what was happening this weekend. I didn't bring it up all week, but she mentioned it again last Wednesday, and again Friday, and on Saturday we arranged the time to meet (on Sunday afternoon). I took the kids to grandma's place, and came back to meet with the W. It was pouring rain (we've had rain the past few days in the afternoons) and I wouldn't have been surprised if she cancelled, or postponed...but she didn't. I showed up as expected, and we just hung out at home for 45 mins until the weather cleared - her idea! We walked up to our favorite coffee shop, and hung out and talked - not really about us (maybe a little, as it came up, but I sure wasn't going to focus on it) but just about stuff... We had a very nice visit, and we walked home afterwards, and I asked if maybe we could do this again sometime, and she said "Oh, yes..." I thanked her for doing this, and told her I had a nice time, and she said "Yeah, I did too."
Some changes I have seen, and some early goals that were met (as pointed out by the counselor) - she has definately been communicating more, and has also been less forgetful when it comes to things involving me. Also, and perhaps most important - she has definately not been avoiding me. She was doing things months ago that were 'avoiding' behaviors, but now I am better informed by her as to what and when things are happening, and we have even done a few things that were "family-ish", like going to the local "Creekfest" this weekend, with the kids friends and their parents. Even shorter visits (and longer ones) are happening more often when she is out with the kids, and other parents (sometimes school related) and I am included in many of these events. We aren't cozy-warm holding hands, of couse, but we certainly interact, and she initiates conversation, and most of all does not avoid! My counselor S tells me to keep up on my journal, look for trends, and try to put my finger on exactly WHY the changes are occuring, and what my role is in it. Specifically, no pressure, no "cornering", not doing things for her at home, just basically backing off and letting her handle her stuff (for better or for worse) and being cheerful and friendly. Probably other stuff I am not adding here...
I think I missed a week posting stuff due to the locked thread, but the trend has been that things have indeed gotten better, so I feel better, and my GAL is getting better. I even ran a 10K today (one my W and I have run many times before, but she didn't this year) and she wished me good luck, and "I hope you run fast tomorrow...!" As it turned out, I ran my personal best today with a time of 46:00 minutes! Cut my best time by over 1-1/2 minutes!
Even took D4 for a few hours today while W and D9 went to a movie - when I dropped her off at home, W offered me some lasagna, as she was heating up leftovers for dinner, and she was loading up a tupperware bowl for me. So, while I was not exactly included in the dinner plans, I was offered some of her home cooking, which was great!
I'll continue to review my goals, and keep the DR book under constant review.

Thanks to all of those who have contributed here as well.