ALJ- You are right in the thick of it and you have found people who do KNOW what you are feeling. I really related to your post.
I think in time you will recognize that this was not your fault.
I have had a really tough time finding peace but doing better.
Your plans for work and school sound very proactive.
I think it is tough because while people can advise you to have a good attitude and GAL, no one can tell you what to do with regard to your finances and logistics. BUT, there are some very experienced DBers on here who can help.
Right now, I say breathe, exercise every day if possible, ask for help from friends and family, read self help books (Ekhart Tolle's "A New Earth" helped but there are so many). If you are religious or even if you are not, pray. I am not religious but I have gotten on my knees and prayed plenty of times.
Best advice, don't believe most of his words, pay attention to actions.
Looking back, H was just spinning and I wanted to be as neutral as possible. I hadn't read Divorce Remedy yet and while I didn't beg or plead, I couldn't stay away from R conversations AND I wasn't prepared for H's hostile reaction to my looking good and GAL...that really threw me off.
Keep reading here. You are not alone. AND, this is NOT your fault, that is just what you feel when you've been left behind. Give it time, your perspective will be more balanced.
As for going dark, IMO you need to do what you can stick to realistically and what works for you. Maybe go dark but be very pleasant and upbeat when you do have to talk (you need to really GAL to pull this off authentically). Be mysterious and don't get into too much detail about your life, just that you are doing well (I know this is counterintuitive), listen with interest to him but don't be too available...this is basic stuff but I am in NO real position to advise you...
Did you read Divorce Remedy? Read it and read the threads here. You'll get help.
AND, please go easy on yourself. I was in so much pain in the beginning. I can barely even fathom how much pain I was in, I just know it is better now.
You really do need to set little goals for yourself and take it one day at a time.
It is also usually advisable to see a lawyer just to know what your options are and what you will likely be entitled to.
