I posted earlier in another forum, but this might be a better place. W dropped D bomb 12/08, with ILYBINILWY. EA/PA recently discovered and admitted - probably going on for 6 months. She repeatedly denied it during this time. Lots of texting and email. Brushed off counseling and blamed me for everything.
The dust is settling from the admission of the EA/PA and she admits mistake. She also sees that getting a D would be devastating to family.
I have been doing a 180 and detaching which is at least helping me. I have a question though. I'm pretty sure that she liked the attention that she got from the OM. That is her personality Over the last couple of years, I have been more distant because my work has kept me in and out of projects, and this has taken its toll on the M.
Now given that i'm implementing a detach strategy, how do I reconcile the fact that she also 'needs' some attention too.
Another question, does anyone have an opinion on using exposure of the EA/PA? It might not be the case for everyone, but sometimes the wayward w has one special person in her life that she completely respects, like a mom or sister. is there value in exposing the EA/PA to that person b/c that might help shake S out of the fog?
