Thanks John and bless you. Yes, I am still feeling nervous and not "out of the woods yet", but it pays to have a positive mindset hey and I remain optimistic as ever! And.. I said end of May hey. Wow, didnt I ever.
So alot has happened. Saturday, he wanted me to go join him and our friends at 1pm, but I didnt go until 7pm. He texted twice and called me 3 times to see where I was!! I knew then something had shifted. When I got there, the guarded, reticent, cautious ex was gone and the old him was back. It was extrodinary and it took several hours before it sunk in that it wasnt just me that was a done deal, he was too!
He held my hand all night, kissed me often, seemed so happy and relaxed. He was sweet and attentive to me and I began to relax completely. Its wierd, we were like a pair of teenagers all weekend, kissing alot! It felt like the 2nd honeymoon thing, except me and him werent even like that the first time around, because we had been friends for 3 years before we got together. So that made it even more special really.
Sunday morning in bed was lovely too, very poignant.. it was a beautiful day and we walked the coast path with friends.. him holding my hand alot..I really missed that, I used to love holding his hand walking. Mainly though, we laughed and laughed.. MF was with us, who I have known for 17 years and I spent much of the walk talking to him, it felt natural to keep myself apart a little from bf. I guess I have learnt to survive alone and be self sufficient these past 18 months.
I came home for a while, but he asked me to return at night. I keep making him chase me, be explicit that he wants me there..Sunday night was even more fun, Cher and G joined our gang and we all went out to dinner and then to a lovely bar in a village, where a full disco was in swing! Again he was very attentive.
Walking home, we stopped to look at the stars (amazing, no light pollution here) and he ended up saying.. We'll talk, we will talk.. I said a little nervously, yes we must, a little at least and he said, no, we will talk alot.. and then we ended up joking about needing to talk in detail about a great many things and agendas and minutes (in jokes from a job we both did 12 years ago) and were bent over double with laughter!
Again this morning he was very sweet, caring, rubbed my back, made us all breakfast, complimented me on how lovely it was for me to be there, how he had had such a good weekend, that I was very sexy (!) that it had been so much fun.. lots of things. Things I guess he has held in for many months until we got here and he is now 'allowed' to say them. He seems to have turned a corner alright !
