She's burned enough bridges I don't think it could ever be fixed. From the ex-parte with no merit, the lies, the using the boys against me. I want to stop loving. I want to just move on. I'm so lonely right now it makes me sick. But i don't even have the desire to go out and try to find someone. Not even if only for a "night". I don't expect to miraculously be able to get her out of my mind. After all, 11 years and 2 boys, but I'm so mad at my self for still loving her. For crying out loud, she had MY MOTHER watch our boys while I was on a business trip while she went and saw her OM. I think what still bothers me is that, to this day, she won't admit she's with this guy. She even called one of our mutual friends out of the blue last Thursday and said she didn't know what friend was hearing, but she wanted her to know that she and OM are just good friends. That they just laugh about all the rumors going around about him and her. Funny, I ask boys how their weekend with mom was and they say,"Good, we spent the night at (OMs) house and mommy slept in (OMs) bed." Boy, I could use a "friend" like that about now. LOL I'm a reasonably intelligent man, and I know this is just going to take time. Only problem is that "patience" has never been my forte'. And this is the biggest issue I've ever had in my life. Thanks for the advice. I know most of the answers, it just helps me sometimes to get on here and rant and have someone re-inforce what I know I should be doing and how hard it's going to be. I kinda wish I actually knew if I would take her back if she came, or not. I've asked myself that, and I know that's not even something I'm to be worrying about at this stage, but I truly don't even know the answer. The woman I dealt with the last 7 weeks or so is not even a resemblance of the woman I agreed to spend the rest of my life with. Just ramblings. Enjoy the rest of the weekend.
M35 H33 S4 S7 M6 T11 found out about OM 03/11/09 she left 04/11/09 she filed D 04/21/09
